Revision practice Essay Example for Free

Revision practice Essay The revision changes recommended, in the darft states the topic sentence should directly address, the thesis as well as state the topic. Each paragraph should have an effective closing, that reinforces the main point. The revision changes also recommend, the thesis statement should be present, but don’t forget the essay which should begin with an entire. The introductory paragraph, should provide background information on the topic to the readers and grab the readers attention. When writing the supporting detail, for instance when using, learning style, it also means how each individual student learn best, it is best to try to write options for learning. Remember to organize the information in the parargraph, each paragraph should consist of at least five sentences of a topic sentence, and three supporting sentence, and a concluding sentence only in the first line of the paragraph, should be indented. Do not use first person pronouns like †i† in academic writing, also avoid using personal stories in, academic writing, these same ideas can still be convey without making it personal. Working on rewording the paragraph would help to highlight the, same benefits of the ideas, without describing a personal experience. Academic writing should be formal writing, and not informal writing. Avoid repetitive of words, keep conclusion short, it should be four sentence and focus on summarizing, the two or three of the most important main ideas from the essay. The revision changes recommended by, writepoint states when writing avoid leaving a space before a comma. Also remove comma before writing a restrictive phrase otherwise replace†that† with â€Å"which†. Don’t use lots in an essay without commercial words, the word lots is used only for commercial shipments and real estate, are measured in lots. To use â€Å"a lot of†Ã¢â‚¬â„¢ means â€Å"many† â€Å"much† or a large amount†. Also recommended by writepoint for any academic writer, should not divide two-part verb beginning with has/ have/ had. The revision provided by plagiarism checker reports processed on, march 16 2012,the feedback states the slimilarity index, was 0%, internet sources 0%, publication 0%, and student papers n/a. 1. The topic sentence directly address the thesis, as well as states the topic, for instance, the topic sentence states, although students either can learn from online classroom or traditional classroom, online classroom is more flexible. 2. Each paragraph have an effective closing that reinforces the main point , for instance the main ideas are in the three paragraphs, for instance, learning styles, benefits, and cost of education. 3.  The essay is coherent, it flows with ideas smoothly, for instance, online learning and traditional learning, flow in order, one after the other this make the essay easy to understand. It flows from the beginning to the end, because the starting of the essay starts with the topic sentence and ends with the topic sentence, this allows the idea to flow after one another within the paragraph, and from paragraph to paragraph so the ideas can flow smoothly.  The essay flows from the beginning to the end, which starts with the introduction of the topic s entence in the beginning and to the end of the conclusion of the three main ideas, flows in order. 4. The order of the support is logical and effective, because it gives support to the essay, for instance, the essay giveS example of how student can balance work and school, the supporting detail, is how flexible online learning is, and how effective the support is states how student can balance school life and personal life, this makes the order of support logical and effective. . The essay provides strong evidence to support any opinions, the evidence to support the opinions is ,saves money on gas for car, due to no travel time, this allows saving time and money saving. 6. The essay reflects on the evidence and explain its importance, the evidence is student can benefit, the importance is student can save money and time, which do explain no travel time and also student don’t have to pay for parking, this allows students to save time and money. . The essay use strong transition between sentences and between paragraphs, the words and phrases shows how the ideas in the sentence and paragraph are related, for example, online learning style, is the transitions between traditional learning The next steps to be taken in the revision process, is to take out unnecessary words and replace weak words, with specific and appropriate wording, this helps the essay. Revision process, allows you to make changes to the first draft before you put the finishing touches, during the editing and proofreading stage. The revision process allows you to improve the draft before you start the editing process. The revision process, is the step when you, add, cut, move, or change information in order to make the ideas in the essay, more accurate, more interesting or more convincing. After revising the content, the next step is to do the editing. This allows you to examine the surface features of the content. The editing process, allows you to examine your spelling, grammer, usage of words, and punctuation in the darft. When editing, it helps you to use proper format when creating the finished essay. The revision process, overall allows you to, add, cut, move, or change information in order to make the ideas in the essay, more accurate, more interesting, or more convincing, when writing your essay.

Learning Racism in Going to Meet the Man by James Baldwin Essay

Learning Racism in Going to Meet the Man by James Baldwin James Baldwin, an African American author born in Harlem, was raised by his violent step-father, David. His father was a lay preacher who hated whites and felt that all whites would be judged as they deserve by a vengeful God. Usually, the father's anger was directed toward his son through violence. Baldwin's history, in part, aids him in his insight of racism within the family. He understands that racists are not born, but rather racist attitudes and behaviors are learned in the early stages of childhood. Baldwin's Going to Meet the Man is a perfect example of his capability to analyze the growth of a innocent child to a racist. Every child is born with innocence. During the flashback to Jesse's childhood, where he witnesses the mutilation and torture of a blackman, Jesse's innocence is apparent. Jesse has a black friend named Otis who he hasn't seen for a few days. When he asks his father where Otis is, the father replies, "I reckon Otis's folks was afrad to let him show himself this morning"(Baldwin, p. 2006). Jesse naturally responds, "But Otis ain't do nothing." His father explains, "We just wanna make sure Otis don't do nothing, and you tell him what your Daddy said"(Baldwin, p. 2006). This statement implies that because Otis is black, he is eventually going to do something wrong. The father has subconsciously put negative thoughts inside of Jesse's head. Baldwin's own father also acted in this way when he stereotyped all whites as being bad and claimed they would be punished by God. In the midst of all the commotion, Jesse is unable to sleep the night before the lynching. Within another flashback to that night, Jesse feels a strong need to have his ... ...se toward the father has replaced the longing for the mother. "Jesse loved his father more than he had ever loved him"(Baldwin, p. 2010). He feels like a man because, "his father had carried throught a mighty test, had revealed to him a great secret which would be the key to his life forever." He subconsciously traded his innocence for closness to his father. Going to Meet the Man allows readers to recongnize how a racist is built through ingnorance. Baldwin ends his story with Jesse in bed with his wife. The memories of the mutilation of the negro arise in his mind and he feels arrounsed. He turns to his wife and says, "Come on sugar, I'm going to do you like a nigger." Jesse cannot recognize that these memories of the lynching have made him sexually arroused by violence. As a result, he has become a violent man with a disturbed idea of love, sex and blacks.

Dreams for My Future: College and Beyond Essay

My dreams and aspirations to go to college and further enhance my knowledge have always been with me since I was child. Both my parents taught me that I have to use my mind if I want to lead a happy and prosperous life without any problems, and that has always been my motivation to persevere, no matter how difficult the road may be. After high school I will attend a university and continue my education further in the field of computer engineering. With that, I will apply in various careers involving my major, such as in the business, automobile, video game and software industries. My goal is to have both a successful and fulfilling career that I can be happy with while still supporting a small family of my own and living the American dream. My intentions are to help the general populace by providing more efficient computer systems and software because I know we live in an age where computers are very important and dominating all industries with handling information. I know that we all live in a time where technology has become essential to human life, so if I can make a positive impact with my major, then that’s what I am going to do. Having a strong, fun career and having a wonderful family has always been a priority to me and I have been taking every step and precaution along the way to ensure that I meet these goals timely and productively. With help from the Apple Scholarship Foundation, I can meet my goals with more relative ease and I can worry less about any monetary hardships that I might encounter. I believe that I deserve this scholarship because I have always worked diligently in and out of school my entire life preparing myself to be a part of society. Without the assistance of this scholarship(s), going to college and achieving my goals will be that much more difficult. My father is the only source of income in my family and unfortunately, I cannot rely on him to make a monetary contribution to my college education. Scholarships haven’t just been optional, but are necessary in aiding my goal of going to college. With the financial assistance of federal aid and scholarships I will be able to achieve my goal of attending a university. My family would not be burdened with financial troubles or be worried for my future. My future relies on the aid of this scholarship and I would be appreciative to have all the help and support that can be given.

Negative Effects of Racial Discrimination - 1683 Words

America is the country where people immigrate to in order for them to live out their dream. The â€Å"American dream† is something that everyone believes they can accomplish, but is that really the case? America is one of the most developed and industrialized countries in the world, but we are not perfect by any means. America was founded on opportunity, and that is why many African American’s, Middle Easterners, and Hispanics have immigrated to this country. They did not know about the discrimination in this country though, when they moved here. Is it really possible for African American’s and Hispanics to live the â€Å"American dream† if they are discriminated against in the workplace, and many other places? Although America is doing a lot to†¦show more content†¦This means that you are shaped, in a way, by the world around you. Your parents have the biggest role, but TV shows, media and commercials all play a part too. When you are growing up, you think that what is on TV has to be true. For example, when I was in elementary school, I watched shows that involved kids in high school. I thought high school would be exactly like what I saw on TV, but it definitely was not. This is just like if you watch a TV show when you are growing up that has an African American as the â€Å"bad guy,† you are more likely to associate African American’s with crimes. Another factor that contributes to discrimination is social conformity. There is this pressure in our culture to conform, to our family or our friends’ views. Agreeing with the prejudices and other beliefs that your family believes in can even bring support from family members or friends in other areas. The third factor that can contribute to discrimination is ethnocentrism. This is the judgment of another culture based off of the beliefs of your own culture. This also involves being suspicious of outsiders who come in to your culture, which can cause you to discriminate against them. The fourth factor is economic competition. By this, I mean that when you are competing with someone for a job, or promotion in a company, you will judge the person who you are up against. Bosses of companies also may do this when hiring a new person, if they have two people of two different skin colorsShow MoreRelatedThe Negative Effects Of Racism : Segregation And Violence1400 Words   |  6 PagesNegative Effects of Racism: Segregation and Violence Racial discrimination affects many minority groups and this issue still occurs to this day. Racial discrimination is the act of treating others differently because of the color of their skin. Although there have been laws placed to prohibit racial discrimination, racism still occurs and continues to have many negative effects to minority groups today. The negative effects of racial discrimination are discussed in the fiction novel, To Kill a MockingbirdRead MoreRacial Discrimination And Its Effects On People And Society1653 Words   |  7 PagesRacial discrimination has many effects on people and the society, and these effects are mostly negative. In To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee, the author, demonstrates racial discrimination and its effects through Tom Robinson s case. Tom Robinson is accused of raping and beating Mayella, and Atticus Finch is the man who steps up to defend this innocent man in the town of Maycomb, where everyone was decided from racial prejudice. In the three following sources, Montgomery Boycott, White PeopleRead MoreEffects Of Racial Discrimination In To Kill A Mockingbird1526 Words   |  7 PagesRacial discrimination is when you treat someone differently based on the color of their skin or when you think different races exist in the world. 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This issue has escalated for manyRead MoreDiscrimination in Of Mice and Men886 Words   |  4 Pages Discrimination is a problem that plagues those whose qualities are vulnerable. There are many examples of discrimination in the novel, Of Mice and Men. The characters face discrimination in many different ways including racial, age, gender, and disability. Crooks, the black stable buck, is the victim of racial discrimination. Candy, the old swamper, is a victim of the age discrimination. The victim of gender discrimination is Curleys wife because she is a woman. Life of the victims is hard becauseRead MoreRacial Profiling And The Civil Righ ts Movement993 Words   |  4 Pagesmany people continue to say that race relations has increasingly improved after the civil rights movement, racism still occurs today. Discrimination and racism toward Blacks was considered normal after the Civil War and before the civil rights movement. Many white people could openly abuse black people in the streets and no one would care. Racism and discrimination only happens at a mid extent today, which is not as often as a when Richard lived. Richard Wright was born after the Civil War, but beforeRead MoreRacsim in Sports Essays1020 Words   |  5 Pagesbecause the whites seem to view them as inferior. Does racial discrimination also exists in sports? Yes. Racial discrimination has also impacted negatively on the ethics of sports and the code of conduct of athlete. Is of no surprise that racial discrimination has mainly welcomed itself into sports, has this has been an issue which have perplexed many of sports analysts the 21st century. Bu t, what are likely the effects of racial discrimination on sports? Firstly,